Seedlings

I spent a few hours tonight chiseling & filing away a rough slab of soapstone. I am attempting to create some sort of vessel, but we’ll see how it turns out. I’d forgotten how labor intensive it was since you really have to work at your piece to achieve the desired form. I think that there is something therapeutic about the process at least. I feel really energized after a long day, & I wasn’t that excited to go to class because I was so tired. There was one guy in the class who drove me nuts but luckily for him he was across the room & far enough away from my chisel & mallet to make it home again.

Speaking of the creative process, my son & I planted different seeds this week with the hopes of creating perennial beds in our back yard this spring/summer. Our yard is basically a big pile of dirt, so this year our plan is to fence & landscape. You know: nothing major. It seems like every spring we are inspired to embark on some endeavor, whether it be renovating, landscaping or building. Last year involved building a 32 feet by 12 feet deck, building a shed & planting bulbs among other things, all with a newborn & a 3 year old yet. Again, we’ll see how the summer plays out. I have a suspicion that we’re expecting far too much of ourselves.

A friend of mine emailed me today to inform me that she & her husband are expecting their first child after years of fertility treatments, which I wasn’t aware of (the treatments that is). I hope that everything goes well, particularly since I assume they’ve already endured a few struggles to get this far in their aim to be parents. I think that people who struggle to conceive have lucky children in some ways, because those parents truly wanted & appreciate the opportunity to be parents. We know a couple who are infertile & are awaiting the chance to adopt children. They look at our kids, even on their worst days, & see the good. There are days where I have trouble seeing the gifts that my kids really are, & I carried them in my body for 10 months apiece (& I have the scars to prove it!).

I’d like to take some pictures this weekend, mainly of the kids of course. I have a few ideas floating in my head for potential series of work. I really need to get in gear to complete some of my projects & possibly put enough together for a show. Of course that involves promoting myself, which is a weakness on my part because I never think my “stuff” is good enough. I’ve participated in group shows in the past & have 3 upcoming opportunities already decided upon, however the idea of one on my own scares me a bit. I think the major hurdle is writing a proposal, mainly for fear of rejection. In most spheres of my life I am confident, even arrogant (i.e. academics) but for some reason I am insecure about my drawings/paintings/photos. I really need to do something about that....